Some people don’t like me.

I’m not blind to the fact. I know people who don’t like me read this blog hoping I say something stupid.

Hi. What’s up, people who purposefully read this waiting on me to make a mistake? Having fun?

Anyways…

I’m not always right. Sometimes I talk too fast and sometimes I don’t have a filter. Sometimes I nap too much. And sometimes I think I’m helping when in reality I just dug my grave even deeper.

Some people like this blog. I get tons of messages each day from women from all over. But see, that’s the weird thing… I can be told by 6,000,000 girls “thank you”, but all I hear is the one comment I saw that day that says differently.

Recently, I got a comment on my article that said:

“This is one of the most depressing, irrational worthless things I’ve ever seen on the web. You really should remove it before your ruin anyone else future, yours must be terrible.”

Yes, he said exactly that, grammar mistakes and all.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS COMMENT…

I was reminded of all the people who didn’t like me.

And if this has ever happened to you… then you too know how much that STINKS.

Isn’t it funny how all it takes is one nasty comment to remind you of every person who ever thought a similar way? Like one comment floods back all the memories from middle school. One comment reminds you of every heartbreak, broken friendship, and mean girl who ever lied to you and said you weren’t enough.

Chances are you too have someone who doesn’t like you. No, you didn’t do anything bad. No, you didn’t even kiss her boyfriend or steal her clothes. All you did was breathe, and for some strange reason she decided not to like you.

Some people come into our lives and bring more tears than laughter. I remember the first time I dealt with someone who didn’t like me was in middle school. People kept saying, “once you grow up girls aren’t mean and you realize this drama is stupid.” But those middle school girls who didn’t like me grew to be high schoolers who didn’t like me, who grew to be college students who didn’t like me. I have a good feeling one day when I drop my child off at preschool, there will be a mother of a kid in his or her class who doesn’t like me.

Mean people just exist. People won’t always like me. Even someone as awesome as Taylor Swift has Kanye West. However, I can’t help but thank the people who have been mean to me and will simply never like me.

When people don’t like you and when people are mean you have to options:

You can let their words “define” you. Or you can let their words “refine” you.

If you let their mean thoughts, words, and lies define you… you begin to live a lie about your worth. If you allow their opinions to define your self-perception you are losing sight of the One who created you.

If you allow the people who don’t like you to refine you, you allow yourself to be sharpened through the experience of pettiness, mean peers, and people who don’t like you. Being refined doesn’t mean you are changing yourself to be liked by the world, it means you are growing in strength and wisdom. Being refined means you are using your everyday pain and trials to sharpen your walk with God.

So to whoever is reading this who has one… maybe two… or maybe even fifty people who just don’t like them… IT IS OKAY.

Their opinion, whether just or not, does not define your worth. Your worth comes from the cross.

Change the world, but never change who you are to please the world, the boy, or the mean girl. 

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Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.

6 comments

  1. When I was in middle school I had a teacher ask me what I wanted in life and I said “I want people to like me.” He replied, “if everyone likes you, you are doing something wrong because you are changing you to fit what they want you to be.” You spoke to this so much! We are created to be unique from others and sometimes that means our passions or feelings don’t intersect well but that does not change how we were so intentionally created by our Creator. Thank you for your wisdom!! Also haterz are motivatorz

  2. Grace I dont just like you, I love you. You are so strong and I am so proud of you. I wish I had had your blog to read when I was growing up.
    Sending hugs and kisses from Williamsburg VA!
    Becca

  3. I just printed this out and have it in my pocket for my daughter to read when she gets home from classes. I’m going to have my son read it, too. Thank you for this…what a marvelous lesson for our young people in today’s socially-driven world!

  4. LOVE this so much!! You always say the right words a the right time. I’ve been dealing with mean comments, losing friends, and just all around stinky things. I have to let my past refine me, rather than DEFINE me as you stated. I love that, probably will use as a caption one day soon. Love this and love you! Come to Georgia for a book signing soon. 🙂

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