“Best years of your life”.

“Your college years will define you”.

Both are lies.

Not saying college completely sucks… but it is hard. It is not as exciting as it looks on your social media. Sometimes you have a perfect friendsgiving and take cute pictures. Other days you find yourself 15 pounds heavier, dreading any social gathering, failing six classes when you are in five, and wondering what the heck you are even going to do with this degree that is burning a hole in your pocket. You soon find yourself counting down the days until your next break, reminiscing on the moments in high school when you got a study guide and your mom made you dinner.

I’ve been there and by been there I mean I am there. I am a senior and I am confused, broke, tired, lonely, and over everything about college.

But then I am reminded… college does not define you, it refines you.

If you are in college then you understand failure. Maybe, your failure looks like straight Ds on your midterms a couple years ago. Maybe, your failure is that you’re 3/4ths finished with a major you hate. Maybe, your failure looks like a broken heart, a mistake at a party, or still not having any real friends.

In life you will fail. Yes, this includes during your four… maybe five years at college. However, failure isn’t a bad thing. I truly believe the Lord gives us failure sometimes to remind us that our worth is not from the world. No matter what your Biology midterm said, or what the Monday morning gossip is– you are worthy, loved, and created for an eternal purpose. Trust that.

Failure is not something to run from. Sometimes the best blessings come from hard lessons. Sometimes God uses failures to close doors that were never meant to be opened. Sometimes broken hearts lead to restoration of One’s soul. And failure, if we allow it to, can refine us. It can sharpen us. It can make us better, more beautiful, and allow us to shine. Like RG3, Heisman winner in 2014 said, “no pressure, no diamonds.”

Failure makes us stronger, because it allows us to see our weakness, and have an opportunity to seek God’s strength. We will fail in life. And when you are 20-something, I can promise you that you will have moments where you wake up and want to scream, “WHHYYY?” But in those moments, remember that you were never called to do things right. You were never called to get a 4.0 and date the cutest boy on campus.You were called to love. To love Jesus, love others, and to praise Him even when life is crappy.

So no, your metabolism may be slowing down and your GPA may be going down, but don’t allow college to be a defining factor in your identity. Your identity is not found in Greek life, your mistake last weekend, your GPA, your weight, the amount of friends at your brunch, or even how much money is in your bank account. Your identity comes from the One who created you. The One says you are enough. The One who sees your failures, your worst mistakes, and your weakness and says “Come as you are”.

If you tired, drained, and counting down the days till your next break from college– find rest in our sweet Jesus. He gives strength when you are weak and reminds you that your purpose isn’t found in these fours years.

Yes, work towards a degree and work towards earthly friendships, but do so in His name. Chase the author of love and One who created you first. How are you supposed to figure out your purpose in this world if you don’t first follow the One who created your purpose? Try your best. Study for the test. Do some squats. But focus fully on His name. And in your weariness, brokenness, and on days when you are overwhelmed, breathe in-and-out. Then, look at where your feet are planted. God put you where you are for a reason. He’s gotten you this far. Why don’t you trust Him with your tomorrow?

So if you clicked on this because you related to the title… my prayer is you recognize these four truths.

  1. You are not alone. Find peace in knowing at least I am on the struggle bus too.
  2. Find peace most importantly in Jesus. Stop letting your failures define you.
  3. When you are stressed because of a test, talk to Him. When you are excited because your crush texted you back, talk to Him. When you are nervous, happy, content, or frustrated— talk to Jesus. You are only winning the race if you are racing towards the prize. Race towards Jesus, the finish line. Chase Jesus, not top-tier letters or a ring by spring. Stop racing towards anything else.
  4. Allow your failures to refine youand strengthen your relationship with the Lord. You lost a friend? Let it show you the importance of kindness. You made a mistake last weekend? Let it show you how beautiful God’s grace is for broken people like you and me. And allow this mistake to make you wiser next time. Every failure has the opportunity to make you wiser–only if you give it the One gives us wisdom.

lol I wrote this last year and guess what??!! I graduated!! Praise Jesus for that ahah. But also I recently published a book I believe is a great resource for any college gal struggling in life. I wrote it while in college! It’s called “Am I Enough?” -by Grace Valentine. Click the “read the book” tab at the top of my website for more info! It’s available at LifeWay, on amazon, and at your local Barnes & Noble or Books-A-Milliom!

I try to write articles the encourage you through scripture and relatability so read the other ones I wrote on my blog. Go to my home page at to read 💓

Follow me on Instagram @thegracevalentine and twitter @gracev96 for more encouragement!


Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.


  1. Wow I just started reading your blog a week ago and I am already in love. You are so wise and I love reading your content. So beautifully written and SO relatable. You are so appreciated!

  2. ah thank you for this. just got home for thanksgiving break from college and i’m loving every second of being home now hahaha. thinking about taking next semester off because i’ve been so miserable since september. maybe transferring. maybe taking the semester off to figure out where to transfer. not really sure yet, but good to know i’m not alone in feeling awful and hating college so far <3

  3. This is written so well! I am a sophomore and am currently dealing with everything in this. I just appreciate this article so much. Thank you

  4. Great article! Love your honesty, my son is away at school and l wonder if he feels the same way. Going to take him laundry and out to dinner so thankful his school is only an hour away. Know he still needs love and support during this time in his life. Keep writing you are reaching students who need the encouragement!💝💝💝

  5. I’m a 66 year old Grandmother and have 3 granddaughters in college right now.. This made me understand more how they think and feel. Thank you so much for being such a wise young person and sharing your thoughts with the girls that are in college and are having each and every thought and feeling you just wrote about.. God be with you and bless you each day..

  6. My granddaughter sent this to me…so happy she shared it!!! Keep sharing your thoughts – we need
    more Christians to speak up/out and let others know how much Christ is in our lives every minute
    of every day. So…this is a challenge to all Christians to “let their lights shine and always be ready
    for whatever Christ sends YOU”.

    Again, thank you and remember, prayers are free!!!

    From a very blessed grandmother in Florida!!!

  7. Keep Shining 4 Jesus Grace!!! You are impacting more people than you know! 😊 The devil often attacks those who he sees as a biggest threat. Hang in there and never give up!

  8. This is one of the most depressing , irrational worthless things I’ve ever seen on the web. You really should remove it before your ruin anyone else future , yours must be terrible.

  9. this spoke to my soul!! thank you so much for finally showing me some reality and relatability in this tough college life.

  10. Love this! I have been feeling this so much! Maybe there was once a time where people found a lot more in this years, but it has definitely shifted and I felt like you were reading my mind on a lot of this. Thank you for this post!

  11. I was so excited to come home for Christmas break, until I realized I would spend four weeks lying about how great college was and then have to go back for second semester. The overwhelming advice has been to “try harder” and “do more”, but it’s encouraging to hear that sometimes it’s okay to simply survive. I’m not a faulty-college student or weird person just because I haven’t found the best time of my life yet.

    Thank you for writing this.

    Without faith we are lost!!
    My granddaughter Zoe shared this🙏❤️😘

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