1, “You’re prettier than her…”

Stop. Stop comparing your friend to her ex’s new girl. Life and community were never meant to be a contest. Run the race God set fourth, and stop trying to race the people who are supposed to be your teammates.

2. “I’m not trying to be mean but…” 

If you are saying this phrase about someone who is not in the room, chances are you are saying something mean. Speak life, not destruction.

3. “There’s this new diet I heard of…”

Let me guess…another all-avocado, no bread, eat a luna bar only, and one slice of turkey. I’m not saying juice cleanses are bad for you…but I am saying your body needs food. I am also asking you what is the purpose of your weird diet craze? Is it to look hot at formal? Or is it to treat your body like a living sacrifice for the Lord? Evaluate your reason, and ask yourself… is this really helping your health?

4. “Am I prettier than her?”

Go back to point one for this explanation again.

5. “Did you hear what she did?”

Did you hear what you did on your worst mistake? Maybe, women should encourage each other. We have it hard enough in this world. Women–we know how hard it is to be a woman… so why do we as fellow women decide to tear down other women? Build. Each. Other. Up.

6. “He means well I think…”

If you have to even question his meaning or intentions walk away.

7. “I just want an MRS. degree.”

I think I tweeted this once. I also regret it, even though I was joking. Yes, it is great you want to get married young, and if you do go for it. However, God has given you your own gifts and talents. Yes, maybe to be a great wife and mom…but also to change the world. Stop focusing on changing your relationship status, and focus on changing the world.

8. “He is out of her league.”

Seriously. Men do this too. But it is MEAN. Allow people to be in love and not fully focus on looks.

9. “You’re the prettiest girl here.”

Once again, go back to one. But also remember yes, maybe you’re the prettiest girl in your MWF 9:00 am class, but chances are next semester there will be someone in your TTR class who is way prettier than you. Luckily our worth doesn’t come from appearances. But don’t comfort someone with comparison. Comparison will never comfort because it will only remind someone of what they are missing, not what they have. Only Jesus comforts.

10. “Wait a little bit before…”

STOP WAITING. Waiting to chase your dream, waiting for affirmation, waiting to text the boy, waiting to do what you want to do. God’s greatest gift is the present. Harvesting your everyday to bring Him joy gives you purpose.

11. “I don’t wanna get involved…”

Are you passionate? Do you care? If you are speaking through wisdom, then speak. Life’s too short to sit on the sidelines when God, your coach is asking you to get off the bench.

12. “You don’t know him like I do…”

You’re right. I don’t know his Chipotle order like you do. I don’t know how much he loves his dog. I don’t know all the things you. But if I am your friend and am telling you that you deserve better… trust me. Or don’t trust me but listen to me. Because unhealthy relationships are sometimes easier seen from the balcony, not the stage. And maybe God gave you your friend with insight as a vessel for Him to speak truth into you. Trust God when you get insight from others that this relationship door needs to be shut.

13. “God will forgive me…”

Taking advantage of God’s grace is not the same thing as believing in it. You are a crappy friend if you’re going to cheat on God with the world and think because He’s a nice guy it is okay. Stop.

14. “I’m just having fun…”

If your activities need a “just” in front of the verb chances are they aren’t good for you. Stop thinking you can follow Jesus another day. You could die tomorrow. What is your legacy? What will He say to you at the gates? Do you know Him?

15. “The Lord’s going to give you the desires of your heart.”

Okay yes. But the desires of your heart as a believer should be His desires. Seek Him first… not a boy, six-pack, suburban home, or dream job.

16. “I prefer putting others first.”

You can’t love others without loving yourself. And you can’t love yourself without loving the One who created you.

17. “I hate myself.”

Back to point 16, you need to love the image of God you see in the mirror in order to love Him. You are His masterpiece. To praise what He has done is to celebrate in your purpose as a child of God.


grace valentine. love u whoever is reading this. also i have a book coming out soon HOLLA. follow me for updates. i talk about a lot of these points in a relatable way.

Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.


  1. I love all of your blog posts so much and now you’re book is coming out soon!!! I’m so incredibly happy and inspired for you and by you. You are the type of girl I strive to be and I have never even met you but just your love for the Lord is inspiring in itself. I look forward to reading all of your posts!!

  2. “Build each other up.” Yes please! We all need to be built up lest we fall over. We are responsible for doing God’s work. Drop by my blog if you ever get the chance; I would welcome the input of your wisdom.

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