If I’m being honest here I’m a little frustrated.
Why are you settling?
Yes, you heard me settling. You are settling for boys who you know are not the kind of man who picture praying for you moments before you walk down the aisle. Not the type of guy you picture raising your son. Not the type of guy you picture drinking cheap beer with on the sidelines of your favorite sport team’s game, chilling in the nosebleeds.
You know what you want in a man. You want a leader who points you to Christ. You want someone who loves you with grace and sprinkles joy in your life with each word of encouragement and each hug. You want more. More than a snarky, know-it-all boy who thinks sports are life, you are his property, and you are only worthy if you look a certain way.
Life is hard and finding boys is even harder. Finding a good guy these days is hard. And I wish I could be like, “oh here’s my success story, follow this method. I met my husband through a bible study and BAM we had this wedding video where he cried. #GodISGOOD.” But I can’t. I have found good guys. Guys who restore my faith that good guys are not extinct. But I am still single.
But you know what I have learned in my 21-years of living… You shouldn’t be looking for a man. You shouldn’t be searching to find a man. You should be finding Jesus. Finding Jesus in your present circumstances and your present relationship status. You should be focusing on finding out more about Jesus’s character, and finding out where Jesus has called you to go. You should find Jesus in your everyday, savoring each minute of life He has given you. You should be finding ways to praise God through your life, and finding out more and more about how big God’s love is for you and me.
The next guy you should date should be a man who spends his everyday finding God. He seeks the Kingdom and He seeks to be at the feet of our Savior.
He needs to look like Jesus. What I want you to see looking back on your wedding day is a guy whose arms are always reach out to help others, not necessarily the ones always lifting at the gym. His legs will go where the Lord tells him to go, they may not always be perfectly toned. His eyes look for the good in others and not on things of the world. His heart should be compassionate and loving to all people, not just you. And his mouth should speak kind words and life into everyone he encounters, never used for destruction. He should admire your desire for purity, and seek it himself as well till marriage. He should push you closer to Christ, instead of coming in between you and God.
It doesn’t matter if he wears top-tier fraternity letters or if his job makes six figures. Forget the boy who can maybe afford you a rock, and focus on a man who has His foundation on the rock.
You were created by the King of Kings for a purpose greater than settling for a guy who doesn’t know your worth. You need a guy not to make you feel wanted. If it is the Lord’s plan, you deserve a guy who reminds you two is better than one. You deserve a man who dances with Christ, gently follows his lead and goes where called.
The next guy you date shouldn’t be a band-aid to get back on the last guy who broke your heart. Stop settling for being “wanted”, and focus on first falling in love with your first love. Focus on falling in love with Jesus, and then maybe just maybe, when you are dancing with Christ you will realize there’s a man next to you doing the same. A man who doesn’t ask you to put Him before your faith. And a man who will make you say “God thanks for being the best author of my story.” A man who makes you grateful God is God and you are simply a character in the greatest love story of all time.
Photocreds: @bestphotographyfl or @Brittkelleynelson Britt Nelson, owner of @gentlybound