One of my former campers called me the other day.
“Grace, I do not feel enough…”
She was struggling with insecurity again.
Have I ever told you I hate the lies the enemy feeds us? I hate insecurity.
I gave her all the right answers.
Your worth is not in your looks.
The pain and loneliness you are feeling right now is simply a season. God is using this season for a reason.
Some of the best blessings are hard lessons.
I gave her the right answers. And let me tell ya, I thought my advice was gold.
However, without realizing it, the following week I asked for advice from a friend about my insecurity. I came to my friend asking for the same advice I had just given.
I was struggling to believe having a thigh gap did not matter. I was struggling to actually believe that when I enter the gates of heaven, no one will be asking my relationship status. I was struggling to believe I was worthy. I was wrestling with the same problem. Insecurity.
So once again my friend told me, “no your worth comes from God.” She told me I did not look fat in my dress and no, the pain I’m experiencing now will not matter in five years. And it defiantly does not matter in the end of it all. My worth comes from my Creator, not what the scale says, and defiantly not from what any boy thinks of me.
I realized suddenly I became the camper who I helped. It kinda made me upset.
God, if I know the right answers, and know what your scripture says, why do I not actually believe the truth? Why do I still struggle with insecurity?
And like always, that inaudible thought came into my mind, that obviously was not from myself because it was way wiser than this foolish 20-something.
Well, do you know me?
YES GOD. I know you. I have verses and a decent church attendance to prove it.
But do you know, know me?
Okay, I know of Him and I have known known you before. But it was almost like in the past 3 weeks I was distancing myself from Him. Like a long-distance relationship that was entering the phase were both parties got too busy in their own worlds, or a relationship with bad communication. Except here I was the only problem. God had not changed, I just stopped listening to Him. I was losing touch with Him and it was effecting my relationship with Him, which was effecting my joy. God became that friend who I saw on social media, so I felt like I still knew, but soon realized we had not hung out in months.
I learned something. You can’t know fully know the right answers unless you fully know God. You can’t believe what your Creator says if you lack communication with Him. You must do life with Him every second of every day in order for your thoughts to become His thoughts. You must hangout with Him consistently in order for His ways to become your ways.
I have this problem with saying “you know” after almost everything I say.
“I just don’t like this show because it confused me… you know?”
Those who know me best know this problem I have. There was one time my best friend in college came back and said, “I FIND MYSELF SAYING YOU KNOW ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU SAY IT ALL THE TIME.” And we hung-out a lot. My words quickly became her words. My friendship had an effect on her actions and her thoughts.
Let us become best friends with Christ. Let us mock our behaviors after Him and let us hangout with Him every day. He is not a long-distant friend. He is with you every second of every day. Are you willing to communicate with Him?
And yes, this includes you bible readers, church goers, and those affiliated with “Christianity” under the religion column of Facebook. You can know bible verses, but not believe them. You must fully know the One who speaks the truth, in order to be able to rest in the truth. You must allow yourself through prayer and stillness to have good communication with the Author of truth.
And this Author gives better advice than this washed-up camp counselor, now semi-decent blogger and soon-to-be author. He is wiser than me, and wiser than my earthly friends. May His ways become my ways, and His thoughts become my thoughts. May through His friendship, I communicate with Him by prayer. May I consistently hangout with Him by committing my ways to Him. May my insecurity be replaced by the truth He presents clearly and repeatedly.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” Isaiah 55:8
PHOTCREDS: Suzy Collins, Nashville based photographer