My best friend Britta texted me the other day… “I found your husband and gave him your number!! You’re welcome!”
I thought she was joking. But a couple hours later, I got a text from this boy in Britta’s speech class. Apparently after he gave a speech on how important God and his family were to him he asked the class if anyone had any questions. Britta’s hand eagerly shot up… “Are you single? Because my best friend is PERFECT FOR YOU!”
And if your wondering about the boy, we didn’t text longer than a day. I know, I get it–it could’ve been a cute story. I have to worry about other things currently and for some reason didn’t feel like he was important to invest my time in. However, what I learned that day giggling with Britta was that I found a friend for life.
I found an advocate, cheerleader and longtime fellow adventurer through life. Britta isn’t the only friend I have with those characteristics. Some friends I’ve known for awhile and some only recently, like my friend, Emma Erhard, who yells at me every time I apologize and says, “Grace, I’m your friend that’s why I do what I do. Now, stop saying sorry.”
I think it is natural for us to say sorry when people go out of their way to help us because we aren’t used to it. I know I am still not used to it. But when you have great friends, you do nice things that may be an inconvenience because you care. Sadly, I remember what it was like to have a bunch of people I called “friends” not genuinely care about me.
Sometimes I remember the girl who used to cry because she felt like she didn’t have many genuine friends. She was crying because she felt she didn’t belong to a group, clique, or anything. The homecoming court, “popular” class president secretly felt as if none of her friends actually liked her. She felt her friendships consisted more of drama than of genuine conversations. They were competitive. Everyone was cheering for themselves. Very few would ever give a cute boy my number.
So to the girl who feels like she doesn’t belong: relax. We always say it is the “Christian woman” thing to do is pray for your future husband. Trust me, I’m all about that and believe praying for the man you will spend the rest of our life is important. But why don’t we, as women, pray for the women who will be our bridesmaids one day. Pray for the woman who will one day be the last minute babysitter for your child, and the woman who will help you get little Timmy to soccer practice and sweet pigtail Polly to ballet lessons. Friends who will eat Ben & Jerry’s with you when your heart is broken and remind you that the guy who won’t even buy you dinner isn’t worth your time. Friends who point you to Christ and love you in the way your Creator intended you to love. Friendships founded on Christ, not a similar sport or the fact your mothers were sorority sisters back in the day. Friendships that push you. Friendships that are not competitive.
You deserve friends who will tell you that your sweater is ugly and the boy is bad news. You deserve friends who feel like family. Friends who are willing to watch Mean Girls with you for the 4213124th time and put on your favorite T-Swift song when you are feeling sad.
These friends may take time. You may be in a season of loneliness right now, but trust me, if you desire a community that loves you like Jesus and you pray about it–He will provide. I learned this from personal experience. He will give you the desires of your heart.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
However, it may take time. And I appreciate my friends now more than ever because of the season of loneliness I once had. Pray for your future bridesmaids and find friends who push you to grow– not friends who compete with you.
You are beautiful, treasured, and important. You deserve friends who see your uniqueness and celebrate your imperfections. Friends who will give cute boys your phone numbers. Friends who will do squats with you, but also eat In-N-Out with you at 1am because of test week. You deserve friends who see your flaws and look at you and say, “yep, that’s my best friend, go best friend.”
Pray for that and wait for that. Don’t settle for mediocre friendships or friends who care more about boys than you. Be patient. And be that kind of friend to others. You deserve community. You deserve the kind of bridesmaids worth waiting for.
“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?”
PHOTOCREDS: Sammi Shea Photography, https://www.facebook.com/sammisheaphotography/, go like her page and message her for booking!
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.