Seems like my social media has been filled with two common topics.

1. Engagements (lots of them)

2. Girls like me who aren’t engaged joking about their singleness

I’ve been gushing all over social media lately. Screenshots of big diamonds have filled my group text each day. I’m beyond happy for all the girls taking the next step with the love of their lives.

However, I also want every single, engaged or married girl to remember you do not need a boy.

This summer I made a forever friend. I’ll never forget while doing her “evaluation” (I was her boss lol), and instead of talking about her job, we talked about this boy she was dating. Our conversation lasted about an hour and a half. For someone so beautiful I saw insecurity in her eyes. I remember looking at her and asking, “Can you name five ways you see Jesus in him?”

She stuttered. She thought about it and desperately wanted to name reasons, but she couldn’t. She finally admitted that she had been dating him so long that it felt comfortable. She couldn’t imagine life without him. It was easy.

Just in case you haven’t noticed- Jesus never called us to live an easy life.

      John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you           will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

She liked the feeling of having him, but didn’t actually feel like the relationship pushed her. She liked feeling wanted and him being there. She depended on him in her life to feel worthy.

That summer she ended that relationship. She recently texted me and said “thank you for teaching me I didn’t need a boy”.  I remember thanking God one day in high school for teaching me that same thing.

I’m not telling you this story to make myself sound like the next Dr. Phil. Honestly, I stink at relationship advice most the time. I’m writing this so every girl, no matter their relationship status, remembers they do not need a boy.

We as women usually love following a leader. We love finding a man who takes the lead. However, somewhere along the way it becomes easy for us to forget that the man we need is God, not a boy. He is our ultimate leader and our first love. He should be the foundation for our lives. We should never put our worth in a boy, even if he raises his hands when worship songs are played and told you he believes in Jesus. Boys can change their mind and break your heart. God’s love for you is consistent. God cannot leave you. God can satisfy your thirst. He makes promises that are real and He follows through. He is the very word love. You can’t find that in any boy (including Tim Tebow).

I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: dance with Jesus. Follow His lead. He loved you first and died for you to live. He said “I love you this much” stretching out His arms for you, only to have them nailed to a tree. He needs to be your rock. He will never fail you. Humans, including even the cutest boys, will always fail you.

Don’t put your foundation in a boy. He will stumble. He will trip. He will forget the next step. But the Lord will not ever make a mistake. The Lord will joyfully take your hand and glide through the motions with peace and gentleness.

One day you may find a man who dances with the Lord. When you find that boy don’t stop dancing with the Lord to dance with him. Dance with the Lord with Him. Together become one, seeking Christ in all you do. Together go where Christ goes. Together waffle your hands in Christ, locking eyes with your Maker each step.

Let Christ be your foundation. Let Christ be your rock. He will help you when the tide is rising. He will save you from the storm. No person can protect you like Christ.

You do not need a boy. You need Jesus, sweet girl. 

Wait for a man who knows he needs Jesus too. And when you do you know what to do… keep dancing with Christ.

“24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”” Matthew 7:24-27

“The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:17

Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.

24 comments

  1. Wow Grace! Thank you so much for this, God let me see this at the most perfect time! Thank you for allowing this to lead me back to the Lord! Your words have been printed and placed in my journal as a constant reminder. May you feel encouraged to know you’ve made an impact!

  2. Thank you Grace. I needed to hear that. Since I started high school, members of my family have been asking me why I’m not dating anyone, why I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve always answered, ‘Because I’m waiting on God,’ but not just because it is the right thing to say, it was because it was easier than wondering why no guy wanted me? This really gave me the help I need. You’re so right, I need to focus on my first love: God!!! God Bless

    1. Claire you are so wise and sweet! Thanks for reading and believing. I am praying for the guy you end up with and that you embrace your singleness. God placed you were you are for a reason

  3. Thank you for writing this, I’ve been trying to tell my friend this for so long but I couldn’t put it into words and you did that perfectly. This blog is so incredibly important for young women everywhere, never change, you are wonderful

  4. Grace Valentine,
    Wow you have a gift for discernment of God’s truth; thank you or sharing it! I am a mother of 3 children; the youngest of which is a freshmen at the biggest Christian University in USA. This truths of this article are what I desire for her to realize as she is madly in love with her 1st love. I want her to know her 1st and forever love needs to be Jesus Christ. I loved the question you posed to your friend, “Can you name five ways you see Jesus in him?” That is powerful! I cherish your prayers for direction for her and for God’s will to become evident for this relationship.
    May God continue to speak through you through the gift of writing.
    oneidtt

    1. Thank you Mrs. Teresa! I go to a Christian university as well 🙂 And I pray for your daughters to fall in love with their maker more and more each day. And when I’m a mother I hope I can push my daughters to grow in Christ like I know you are doing. God bless new friend!

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