I’ve had many people e-mail me about how “they can’t feel God”.
OKAY ME TOO, A LOT OF TIMES.
I so understand that feeling. It is frustrating. Maybe you’ve felt His presence before and want that feeling back, or maybe you feel like God has never really appeared to you.
I’m not discounting that feeling… because I so often feel that.
One time at 18, I remember being filled with doubt. It was my freshman year of college and I hadn’t really found a church I liked. I didn’t really have friends for sure. I also felt other people had “better” relationships with God than me. They would say they’ve “seen Him” and I would laugh. They would say they “heard him” and I would roll my eyes.
One time I looked up at the ceiling of my dusty dorm room and asked God, “where the heck are ya?”
It felt as annoying as when the cute boy sits next to you in class and always talks to the girl in front of you. LIKE I’M BACK HERE PAY ATTENTION TO ME. I WANT THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO YOU.
I began to be filled with doubt. I doubted his power and his existence.
I saw this HILARIOUS video on Facebook and bout peed my pants watching this little boy search for his googles he needed to swim. He could not find them anywhere. Those who loved him watched and tried to guide him to the location of where his googles were. Finally, the boys feels them on top of his head and sighs with relief. He experiences joy. He found what he needed and it was with him all along.
Tbh this boy is my spirit animal.
And not because I often “misplace” my sunglasses and find them on the top of my head…
He is my spirit animal because he is me searching for God.
Here’s the deal to my fellow doubters. He is there. Yeah maybe you can’t see Him easily and yeah maybe He is not screaming “UP HERE ASHLEY WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LOOK UP AND USE ME I’M WAITING”. But He is there, real, and ready to be used in your life to help you see more clearly.
But you gotta find him for yourself. I can tell you “yo Jesus be right by you”, but no treasure is as exciting without the hunt. You cannot appreciate God’s goodness if you don’t taste Him for yourself. I can guide you, but you have to grab hold onto Him yourself.
My question for you as I avoid checking what I got on my finals, is will you my friend search?
Or are you gonna give up and get to judgement one day and find out God was right above you all along?
Read this passage real quick (COME ON YOU MADE IT THIS FAR DON’T STOP NOW)
“26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.” – Mark 5:26-29
A woman noticed Jesus walking and went to grab Him because she had faith in His powers. Her life was radically changed. For her it was her physical health but for you maybe what you need changed is your emotional health, your feeling of loneliness, or your faith. Maybe you need a friend who won’t leave you or someone who can love you more than the boy who broke your heart. Believe in His power, search for Him, and grab Him.
And friends, just because you don’t notice Him immediately does not mean He is not there. Look at the mountains, the sea, or maybe your mama. Look at all the beautiful things in this life. Look at Tim Tebow for goodness sake. This world is filled with beautiful things and it is because our Creator is even more beautiful.
You can call that a couple atoms pressing together exactly when it needed to be over a billion of years, or you can call that an artist who loves His masterpiece.
Now look up, He’s been here the whole time.
photocreds: my beautiful friend Olivia Wright