We live in a world that idolizes the idea of being in a relationship.
Honestly, almost every movie star has a love interest. In my spare time you can find me watching two people’s wedding video, whom I do not know, sobbing while eating Chipotle. I can’t be the only one who spends her Thursday nights doing that.
A world where The Bachelor, a television show about heartbreak and love can be one of the top reality shows of our generation. (But Luke Pell I would love to talk about Texas over dinner with you if you wanna hit me up.)
A world where men and women confuse the desire to feel wanted with love.
A world where girls start planning their wedding at the age of eight.
I guess maybe when I have an eight year old girl one day and she starts planning her wedding and telling me what her dress will look like, how she wants to look like a princess with a carriage ride, and if she wants chocolate or vanilla cake served I will look at her and tell her to first plan on the kind of guy you want to marry.
I’ve learned in my 20 years of being a girl that we crave the feeling of being wanted. And I’ve learned through personal experience that settling only leads to heartbreak and late nights on your pillow wondering if there’s more out there.
Well, there can be more. If you are willing to wait.
I desire for something more than being called hot and feeling wanted. I desire a man who will laugh at my jokes, not just gawk at my body. I desire a man who respects my purity, not tries to see how far he can get. I desire a man who will pray before his meals, push me to grow spiritually, and make me feel like I’m Beyonce. I desire a man who doesn’t see me as property or a temporary option, but someone who sees me as the child of the King of Kings I know I am.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting a Nicholas Sparks love. I’m not expecting anything unrealistic. I am not expecting to look at him and instantly know “man he’s the one, @God you did good #blessed”, and then run away and live in a picket fence house and never fight. I am not waiting for only someone who looks identical to Channing Tatum to sweep me off my feet and buy me luxury gifts. That stuff is fleeting. I am simply expecting someone who will take me on adventures, hold the door a time or two, and treat me with the love and respect I know I deserve. I want someone who makes watching reruns of Modern Family while drinking cheap beer and eating Chinese takeout feel about as romantic as going to Cancun on a private jet with expensive wine.
So to all the parents who ask me every time I come home why I’m single, it is because I haven’t met anyone who pursues me in the way Jesus pursues me. I haven’t found anyone who would love me even if I wore crocs and a Nickleback t-shirt. I haven’t found someone who wants to pursue me in the way I know I deserve.
Has there been options of temporary love and mediocre happiness? Yes. Every girl has options. Just go to your local bar, where every girl can find someone to make her feel wanted. But I deserve something more than that. I deserve someone who will one day look at me at my wedding day and before he even gets the chance to tell me how good I look (which he better), he first thanks God that He made me the way I am. That God made me with a strong love for queso and late night talks. That God made me with a heart that does funny faces at each baby I see. And I pray he thanks God that he as well didn’t settle and waited for God to deliver him someone like me.
So here’s to the girls who don’t settle, because we know God writes better love stories than a Tinder match. Here’s to the girls who trust the One who redefined what love meant on that cross 2000 years ago to write their love stories, instead of themselves.
Here’s to the girl who refuse to settle. Let us focus on growing with God first, finding ourselves, and having fun. Let’s go whitewater rafting and hike mountains. Let’s watch Mean Girls for the 503522nd time and still laugh so hard we pee our paints. Let’s have sleepovers even though we are in our twenties. Let’s live life knowing we are already loved, and when it is the right time, let’s trust God to write our love story–not our Pinterest board.
Because I do not want to wake up one day when I’m 50 and realize 20 year-old me settled for the first guy who liked her. I don’t want to realize that I only liked the feeling of being wanted and that I didn’t actually love the guy.
I don’t want to simply just be wanted. I want love. I want a love that is like Jesus’s love. And I will not settle for less.
And here’s to the guys out there desiring something more than hookups and a good butt. Here’s to the guys who wait for girls like us.
“1Praise the Lord. I will extol the Lord with all my heart in the council of the upright and in the assembly. 2Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them. 3Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever. 4He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate. 5He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever. 6He has shown his people the power of his works, giving them the lands of other nations. 7The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. 8They are established for ever and ever, enacted in faithfulness and uprightness. 9He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever— holy and awesome is his name. 10The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.” Psalm 111:1-10