There comes a time in most women’s lives when they lock the door to cry in the bathroom. It might be over anxiety, feeling like they have no friends, or because some boy who won’t matter in 10 years broke their heart. But women cry a lot, and have a habit of locking the door behind them to cry alone in the bathroom. It is as if we want to be completely isolated in the most private of locations to stare at the mirror reflection of ourselves to see our mascara running, puffy under-eyes, and sad expression face-to-face.
There will come a time when I have a daughter. There will come a time when she will get bullied, when a girl will not be nice to her, when a boy will break her precious heart, and when she will think she is not pretty enough. Although I know there will be a time when I knock on the door asking what’s wrong, and she with the door locked, says nothing as she stares into her reflection, I pray she remembers this:
The boy who broke your heart never even deserved it.
You will one day find a guy who deserves your heart. And when you find that guy he will never make you cry unless it is because of joy or from belly-laughing too much while watching reruns of old Spongebob episodes. He will protect your heart, not damage it. He will love you like Jesus — not like you like you are a temporary object in his possession.
The mean girl is fighting her own battles. Kill her with kindness, because joy is the best revenge.
The girl who uses her words to tear you down is fighting insecurity of her own. Pray for her, wish her the best, and treat her kindly. Being kind is what will make her regret being mean to you, and having joy is better revenge than throwing shade back at her. Her words mean nothing and do not define your worth.
Friends come and go but your family is forever.
Some friends are only meant to be in a chapter of your life. Your family will be forever. Do not let your so called “friends” make you do anything against your morals. Although at 15 you feel like your friends are forever, chances are you will go months without talking to them when you are 25. Appreciate and listen to your family. They care and will be there by your side always.
Do not settle for a boy.
Once you go to college, you are going to think that every foolish boy has grown into a man since they are technically an adult. However, you are mistaken. Men are not necessarily the guys who are of adult age. Being a man is when a guy realizes that his worth is not found in how much he lifts, how many babes he’s hooked up with or how smart he is. A man realizes that his worth comes from the One who hung the stars and painted the sea. Wait for a man. Do not settle for a boy.
God writes the best love stories.
God can write you a better love story than any Nicholas Sparks book. Trust in His timing, who He has planned for you, and the person who He created for you. He wrote the story of a perfect King coming to you as a servant, only to die for you to be forgiven. If He can create that, imagine what else He has in store for you.
You are beautiful not because of who you are, you are beautiful because of whose you are.
The King of Kings, Prince of Peace, and creator of butterflies, chocolate and Taylor Swift created you. He did not mess up when he created you a little shorter or taller than your peers. Your freckles are there for a reason. Your hips are shaped as they are for a purpose. He designed you in the image of the ultimate artist. He calls you His child when you go against Him daily. That is beautiful. Therefore, because of Him, you are the greatest masterpiece.
Sometimes God’s greatest blessings are when He doesn’t answer your prayers with the answer you want.
This part stinks, but will help you with many moments of tears in your life. God will answer every prayer you send to Him, He may just not answer it the way you like. I struggled with this when I had a friend die of cancer. I do not know why she had to die young, but I know God must have needed her in heaven for a purpose. Life stinks, but God’s ultimate plan is good. Trust His wisdom, and trust in His plan. His plan is confusing, but in the end when you are looking at Him and He says “well done good and faithful one”, it will all be worth it.
To my future daughter: you are going to cry in the bathroom, or somewhere where you can hide from the world, but when you do I pray you look in the mirror and remember whose you are. Cry to God, pray to Him, and be honest. He wants to be your friend and cares about you more than you will ever be able to comprehend. Boys will break your heart, friends will come and go, you will gain weight as you get older, and life will not always go your way. But when you follow the Lord and dance with Him, you will find that He can comfort you more than any Taylor Swift song. He can give you peace when you are locked in the bathroom crying. He is eternal.
Photocreds: Taken by Kaleigh Palmisano, of Megan Quirk