There comes a time in most women’s lives when they lock the door to cry in the bathroom. It might be over anxiety, feeling like they have no friends, or because some boy who won’t matter in 10 years broke their heart. But women cry a lot, and have a habit of locking the door behind them to cry alone in the bathroom. It is as if we want to be completely isolated in the most private of locations to stare at the mirror reflection of ourselves to see our mascara running, puffy under-eyes, and sad expression face-to-face.

There will come a time when I have a daughter. There will come a time when she will get bullied, when a girl will not be nice to her, when a boy will break her precious heart, and when she will think she is not pretty enough. Although I know there will be a time when I knock on the door asking what’s wrong, and she with the door locked, says nothing as she stares into her reflection, I pray she remembers this:

 

The boy who broke your heart never even deserved it.

You will one day find a guy who deserves your heart. And when you find that guy he will never make you cry unless it is because of joy or from belly-laughing too much while watching reruns of old Spongebob episodes. He will protect your heart, not damage it. He will love you like Jesus — not like you like you are a temporary object in his possession.

The mean girl is fighting her own battles. Kill her with kindness, because joy is the best revenge.

The girl who uses her words to tear you down is fighting insecurity of her own. Pray for her, wish her the best, and treat her kindly. Being kind is what will make her regret being mean to you, and having joy is better revenge than throwing shade back at her. Her words mean nothing and do not define your worth.

Friends come and go but your family is forever.

Some friends are only meant to be in a chapter of your life. Your family will be forever. Do not let your so called โ€œfriends” make you do anything against your morals. Although at 15 you feel like your friends are forever, chances are you will go months without talking to them when you are 25. Appreciate and listen to your family. They care and will be there by your side always.

Do not settle for a boy.

Once you go to college, you are going to think that every foolish boy has grown into a man since they are technically an adult. However, you are mistaken. Men are not necessarily the guys who are of adult age. Being a man is when a guy realizes that his worth is not found in how much he lifts, how many babes he’s hooked up with or how smart he is. A man realizes that his worth comes from the One who hung the stars and painted the sea. Wait for a man. Do not settle for a boy.

God writes the best love stories.

God can write you a better love story than any Nicholas Sparks book. Trust in His timing, who He has planned for you, and the person who He created for you. He wrote the story of a perfect King coming to you as a servant, only to die for you to be forgiven. If He can create that, imagine what else He has in store for you.

You are beautiful not because of who you are, you are beautiful because of whose you are.

The King of Kings, Prince of Peace, and creator of butterflies, chocolate and Taylor Swift created you. He did not mess up when he created you a little shorter or taller than your peers. Your freckles are there for a reason. Your hips are shaped as they are for a purpose. He designed you in the image of the ultimate artist. He calls you His child when you go against Him daily. That is beautiful. Therefore, because of Him, you are the greatest masterpiece.

Sometimes God’s greatest blessings are when He doesn’t answer your prayers with the answer you want.

This part stinks, but will help you with many moments of tears in your life. God will answer every prayer you send to Him, He may just not answer it the way you like. I struggled with this when I had a friend die of cancer. I do not know why she had to die young, but I know God must have needed her in heaven for a purpose. Life stinks, but God’s ultimate plan is good. Trust His wisdom, and trust in His plan. His plan is confusing, but in the end when you are looking at Him and He says “well done good and faithful one”, it will all be worth it.


To my future daughter: you are going to cry in the bathroom, or somewhere where you can hide from the world, but when you do I pray you look in the mirror and remember whose you are. Cry to God, pray to Him, and be honest. He wants to be your friend and cares about you more than you will ever be able to comprehend. Boys will break your heart, friends will come and go, you will gain weight as you get older, and life will not always go your way. But when you follow the Lord and dance with Him, you will find that He can comfort you more than any Taylor Swift song. He can give you peace when you are locked in the bathroom crying. He is eternal.

 

Photocreds: Taken by Kaleigh Palmisano, of Megan Quirk

Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.

60 comments

      1. Grace, I live your article an thoughts. A correction would be us that at times you will mist likely be hurt and cry even by the living man you choose. Because if Adam and Eve’s sin, and our resulting sin nature, every human relationship suffers some imperfection. We run to the Lord witb the hurts and seek His wisdom. He is the only perfect One.

  1. Grace, you are an amazing young lady! Your words are incredibly edifying and present hope to young ladies who face the lurking problems of today. Keep up the good work you are doing; you are glorifying our precious Lord with your messages…blessings!
    Ring, Ching, Ching

  2. This is great. I’m only in 7th grade but I can relate to this in so many ways. I want to share this to my language arts teacher and read this to the class because we’re working on poems right now, but this is amazing. Very inspirational!

  3. What a Woman of Faith! Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s amazing to read this as a guy to really know what women go through in life, and how to respond to it. Truly, it was a blessing to read this! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Our daughters heard similar words from my husband and me. The way you linked it to every good cry we women have as girls struck a universal chord. Being an heiress to the promise of the Kingdom makes one very special … had best not mess with a daughter of The King!
    Now through your stunningly perfect words, other women can encourage their daughters too. Thank you for sharing your gift!

  5. I have 3 precious daughters. All in different stations in life. 20,17 and 12. My 20 yr old shared this link to Facebook, that is how I found it. PTL.
    Grace these are beautiful things to remember for a future daughter. I feel as if they are my words. I have said this and more to my girls. It is not easy being a girl, I am 40 and it still isn’t easy.
    One thing I have learned is that you can’t rely on people to give you joy, not always. People fail you, they are human. Only God can give you joy that is forever. When you trust in Him for that joy and realize He is enough, that is when you find your true self.
    Crying and sadness will still come, but only for a season. I love that you said cry to Jesus. Give it to Him.
    Praise Jesus for your words of wisdom! May God continue to bless over you and all of us. May we all be strong women of God.
    Keep up the good work, His work!

    1. Wow I love your wisdom Dari, your daughters are blessed by you I can tell. I love what you said about how you can’t rely on people for joy but only can rely on Christ for that. Such truth. God bless you and all you do–keep pointing others to Him

  6. Thank you so much for posting. As a college student trying to promote girls realizing their beauty in Jesus Christ, I thank you so much for your ministry because that is truly what this is…a ministry! You will be in my prayers!!

  7. This is an amazing article! As a college I feel this is relevant to me in such a real way. I am working with a group of other young women on my campus to promote beauty and chastity. Thank you for your ministry because that’s truly what it is…a ministry! Through your evangelization, young girls are led to the Heart of Christ everyday so I thank you for that as well! You will be in my prayers, many blessings!!!

  8. This is the first thing I have read that you have written. I must say, it’s a great read! I personally think that this will apply to older adult women as well as young women! I know it was inspiring to me, in my 50’s. I still sometimes want to lock myself in the bathroom!! I too would love to be friends with you on FB. Thanks for sharing your story!โค

  9. There is a point in every woman’s life that we all, no matter how different we are, struggle in a lot of the same ways. Sometimes life feels so hard, a lot of times I want to throw in the towel.. But then I read things like this tgat present me with hope. A remembrance that the King of Kings thinks I’m worth his love. Thank you for this. Keep spreading Gods word, and the faith. GOD BLESSโ˜บ๏ธ

  10. Loved this post. Just shared it with my little sister who is going through a hard time – hate that I’m away at school and can’t be there for her. But this gave me words when I had nothing left to say. Amazing!

  11. I just happened to see this while scrolling through Face Book. This is wonderful. You are amazing to already have this insight and not have a daughter yet. These are things that we as mothers all struggle with, not knowing how to comfort our girls in these situations. Thank you for the words of wisdom and the beautiful way you have spoken them. God bless you my dear!

  12. I loved this more than words can comprehend. This is one of the most beautiful pieces of art that I’ve ever seen and God truly blessed you with an amazing gift. Its crazy how you can restore my faith, just by simple words. God bless you.

  13. Hi! I’m over 60, & often shed tears in a locked bathroom. It seems that I am unable to keep friends as I get older, for various reasons. As a person who has many issues w/health, that are not obvious, I’m judged harshly when I am not able to live up to my former abilities or standards. As a former people pleaser, I’m having a hard time realizing just how few true friends I have, even Christian friends. I’m not sure why, but the friends I do have want to give me unsolicited advice, or tell me what I ‘should’ be doing differently. I am becoming less & less willing to be open with people, b/c of the openly critical ones, who claim to be way better Christians than I am, who are always obedient to God, & how God talks to them, & tells them things (such as who their future husband is, or other such things, that I have never heard any such thing from God.)
    I read in my Bible that none is good except Jesus Christ, & that we are all sinners saved by grace. But I am hearing otherwise from several friends or ex-friends, who say that they are completely obedient, & are not anywhere near where I am in my walk as a Christian, who has many problems in my personal life, & in my family. I’m sure of my salvation, but the friends I seem to attract, well, I feel judged by them, as if The Holy Spirit needs their help. I even had a male Christian counselor rip into me in a women’s group, saying my husband did not love me, & he pointed out so many problems with me as a person all at once, that I never went back, b/c I was overwhelmed. I am open to God’s corrections, & teachings, but I can’t be fixed all at once, nor do I want friends trying to fix me, when they have no professional education in counseling or are not even pastors. I’m sad & depressed, & I wonder what is so bad about me that I keep losing friends b/c I’m hurt by their criticisms. I would never treat them as I feel they have treated me. I’m about ready to isolate myself to only those people who are kind & who are encouraging, not harsh & judgemental. Am I wrong to feel this way?

    1. Who you surround yourself naturally will effect your emotions. There is nothing wrong with wanting to surround yourself around those who care and push you closer to loving God and others however, the hard part is we must love even those mean jerks. You sound lovely and like a wonderful woman of God do not let anyone tell you otherwise. I pray you know your worth comes from God not what mean people say. May God bless you with uplifting friends.

  14. I wasn’t blessed with a daughter. I was blessed with two sons. Who have grown into Great Men for that I am very thankful! I was just recently blessed with a granddaughter and the mother of this beautiful baby posted this post and I’m so thankful for her. She has filled my son’s life with so much love and now they have such a beautiful gift to share. I know I cry a lot. So I hope it doesn’t run in the family LOL. Thank you for writing this it gives me a different perspective on what it would be like to raise a daughter. I will love the granddaughter I have with all my heart and my soul and pray for her everyday just like I do my sons . I also pray for their wives and how I get to be included in so many things that I never knew could exist. God bless you.

    1. Dawn your wisdom and faith challenged and inspired me tonight! I pray as a mother I can love my children one day as much as you love your sons! I pray for your new little girl that she falls in love with our maker and you get to watch her grow up. God bless <3

    2. Raising awesome sons is beyond an accomplishment. Congratulations! I hear your heart in loving your sons, d(s)iland their little gift. Mother on …

  15. What an inspiring, beautiful, and truthful writing from one of God’s children! I have recently found your writings and truly look at my life and see these times of pain, and worst of all…have seen my 19-year-old daughter have to go through some of the same things! However, I can say that we are both, my daughter and I, are believers in God and are his children!!! I believe that God has a calling for each one of us. God knew before he even made us that we are not perfect; however, he made us in his likeness and truly loves each one of us “just the way we are”! We each have a calling from God. We must work hard to find out what God wants of us. We also need to realize that some of our pain along the way can come from family, “friends”, and even other brothers and sisters in Christ…because they are human too. However, we need to remember to keep our eyes on Jesus and remind Satan that he has no power over usโ€ฆ So, I often remind Satin to take up his weapons and flea because he has no power or authority over me…and to go back to hell where he belongs as “I am a child of God and he will never lose me”!!!

    Thank you Grace for your writings and sharing them with others! God is truly using you for his glory! โœ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‚

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