One day while in high school I received a call from a gay peer of mine. He needed to be driven to the hospital to be checked for a STD. He had no one to call, because he was scared he would be judged. As I drove him and waited with him in the waiting room, he told me about how hurt he had been in the past by people who claimed to be Christians. My heart broke that this young boy believed Christians taught hate, due to how he was treated by people who claimed to follow Christ.

I’ve noticed that some of the meanest people can be met at church. Some of the people who judge the most sit in the pew every Sunday. I’ve seen people be ostracized by a Church for one bad mistake.

I’ve seen Christians be exclusive and picky about who they call friend. They leave others out of groups and make some people feel as if they

I’ve seen on the news Christians holding signs proclaiming hate. Whether during a concert, big event or even a funeral–they tell anyone who walks by that “God Hates You”.

I’ve seen myself judge others and practice hate not love. Maybe I don’t hold a sign up that proclaims hate, but my actions and ability to make others feel left out proves that I am not practicing what I preach. Even though my Savior preaches about loving our neighbors, I have chosen in my past to do otherwise.

And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the people who preach about a God of love have bullied you. I’m sorry you’ve felt left out by a church that preaches kindness. I’m sorry you feel as if stepping into a church would be filled with judgmental glares.

That’s not who God is. God is not someone who would ever leave you out, bully you or make you have tears of sadness.

See, those who act better than you because they are a Christian have their theology all wrong. Christianity is about admitting you struggle, admitting you are no better than anyone else–but because Jesus laid His life down on the cross 2000 thousands years ago, and conquered death, you have forgiveness. Christianity isn’t about what “I have done”, it is what “He has done”. Christianity is admitting that you need a Savior and a healer to save you from your sin.

Christianity is not about judging those who sin differently than you. Christianity is not about being the one who has made the least amount of mistakes. Christianity isn’t about having a bible verse in your Instagram bio, or always raising your hand when Oceans is played. And Christianity is definitely not about acting better than anyone else. Christianity is about being brought to your knees in awe that God could send His Son to die for our mistakes. It is about seeing how dirty our sin is, but also seeing how beautiful God’s grace is. It is about being in awe that the one who created bunnies, sunflowers and conquered death wants to do life with us daily. It is about loving others because Christ first loved us.

I’m sorry if you have ever encountered a Christian who did not reflect the love of the merciful God they talk about. I know I have messed up as a Christian and have used the eyes the Lord gave me to judge. I know every time I judge others, I am not acting like a Christian.

But Christ won’t fail you like Christians will. Christ will not tell you you aren’t “good enough” to be His friend. Christ wants you to accept His love, run into His arms, and believe in His truth.

I’m sorry, and I pray I can do better. We as Christians need to live a life of love not of judgement. We as Christians need to be accepting like Jesus was, not exclusive. We as Christians need to continue to listed to God’s Word and practice what we preach. 

I may fail, and other Christians may fail as well; but how wonderful is it that we serve a Lord who will always love you as you are and is currently asking you to run to Him. He can be perfect. He will never say you are “too dirty” to believe in Him.

I’m sorry Christians aren’t acting like Christians. I’m sorry if I have failed you as well. But, God won’t and don’t give up on Him because of someone else. He cares for you, loves you and thinks you are to die for.

To my fellow believers: Let’s start practicing what we preach and focus on having faith and loving others. God never said “only love others if their sins are small”. God never said “only love the cool people”. No, God said all sin is the same. God said we love everyone because He loves us. It is about time that Christians rise up and start doing so. You don’t have to agree with their actions, but you do have to love them.

Romans 3:23-24 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

1 John 4:19 – “We love because he first loved us.”



Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.


  1. Grace I love your blog!! Do you have any powerful book recommendations for college age girls? Looking for a good read that is spiritually fulfilling!! Thank you 🙂 God bless.

  2. I was just talking to friends today about how in the past I have been hurt by my church friends the most. Thank you for this. I needed it today. Thank you. Thank you.

    1. I have been hurt by the church too–I know how challenging that feeling can be. That is result of people’s failures not God. I am praying for you my new friend <3

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