Every girl has a couple of girls who just don’t like them. No, you never kissed their ex-boyfriend; and no, you never wrecked their car. No, you never did anything purposeful to make them not like you–they just don’t like you. In fact, they hate you. They can’t stand you and make sure you know it by the way they treat you.

Some people come in our lives and bring more tears than laughter. I remember the first time I dealt with someone who didn’t like me was in middle school. People kept saying “once you grow up girls aren’t mean and you realize this drama is stupid”. But those girls who didn’t like me grew to be high schoolers who didn’t like, who grew to be college students who didn’t like me. I have a good feeling one day when I drop my child off at preschool, there will be a mother who is also mean to me and doesn’t like me. Mean people just exist. People won’t always like me. Even someone as awesome as Taylor Swift has Kanye West. However, I can’t help but thank the people who have been mean to me and just will never like me.

To all those who just hate me: I used to blame myself for you hating me. I used to think that maybe I was in the wrong. I can be annoying–I would know, I annoy myself all the time. I’m not perfect. I have plenty of flaws if we are being honest here. But the truth is, I finally learned you didn’t have a reason to hate me. It seems like what annoys you about me is simply the fact that I breathe.

I don’t care anymore. 

The truth is I am sorry if there is a reason you hate me. If I ever hurt your feelings I truly feel bad and ask for forgiveness. However, I will never apologize for being me. God designed me and my personality the way they are for a reason. Yes, I have my flaws but I know that God will you use my gifts and weaknesses to bring Him glory in this world. He perfectly made me the way I am for a reason. I will never be ashamed of who I am.

I wish you the best.

You have so much potential. You are so evidently talented. I know God can use your gifts to praise Him and to make this world a better place. I pray you see your gifts, and give them to the One who hung the stars and painted the sea. You are meant for bigger things in this world than making up rumors about me, or waiting for me to make my next mistake.

You are making me stronger and wiser.

Every time you have left me feeling insecure and hated, I have grown more into the woman God has intended me to be. I truly look at you as someone who has made me wiser. You taught me that words can hurt, and that I would rather be remembered as kind than well-known. You taught me to seek Christ in all I do. You taught me to be slow to speak and slow to anger. You taught me to go to Christ to find my worth and identity, not things or people of this world–and for that I thank you.

I pray you understand I love you as a sister in Christ.

I know you probably are thinking I am saying that in some sarcastic, mean and joking way but the truth is –I’m not. The One who created shooting stars, strawberries and kittens created both you and me. He designed us in His image. I pray every time I look at you I remember I am looking at God’s masterpiece. How can I hate a child of the One who saved me when I was so lost? God designed both you and I for a reason, and for that I love you my sister.

I used to cry every time someone told me what you would say about me. I used to be insecure when you would make me feel like I was a monster. I’ve learned lately to not care about how you view me. I’ve learned that there must be some deeper reason to why you hate me. Maybe, it is because we are secretly very similar. Maybe, it is because my personality simply annoys you. Maybe, you are doing it out of insecurity because someone once acted that way to you. Who even knows why…No matter why you are doing it though, I hope you know that before I go to bed and right when I wake up I pray for you. I pray that you know I don’t hate you back. I pray I can kill you with kindness and reflect the love of Christ by the way I treat you back. I pray you may come to have a personal relationship with Christ.

Even though you aren’t sorry now, I forgive you. I forgive you because One time this perfect guy forgave me. One time my Father sent His only Son as a sacrifice for all my mistakes. So I will forgive you, I will love you, and I wish nothing but the best for you.

–Your Sister In Christ

—————————————————-

Mean girls are out there… and there is nothing more tiring than wondering why someone hates you. I once heard the quote “you can be the tastiest peach in all the world, but there is always going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches”. There will always be critics, hatred and mean girls. I pray we as a Kingdom can do our best to truly practice what we preach and love our enemies. Next time you don’t want to forgive someone who has done you wrong, remember how God forgave you. God forgave you when you didn’t deserve to be forgiven. Because of that we must live with the fruit of spirit and encourage one another.

Matthew 5:44-45 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

 

 

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Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.

46 comments

    1. If u really wrote this, you are ment to be a writer. Unbelievable story, you are one great person, I just had to let you know how I feel
      You are great
      Thinking of you,. Mark Skaggs

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  1. Wow… Thank you so much for this. It’s exactly what I needed to read/hear right now.
    I’m going through a situation right now where nasty rumors have been spread about me by the same person… Unfortunately it’s a family member which makes it hurt even more. Forgiveness has been the last thing on my mind but I know I need to do it… If for nothing else, just for me to be able to sleep at night knowing I have God on my side. I will keep that Bible verse as a reminder of what God calls us to do as His followers.

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    1. I will be praying for you Brianna and that you seek Christ to remind you of your worth. Rumors hurt–and I pray the one hurting you may come to know God as well. It is hard to forgive but we must. I will be praying for you and I admire you seeking the Lord’s desire. God bless!

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  2. Your maturity and spiritual insight amaze me:) A s the mom of a beautiful daughter who was hated and bullied through high school, this article resonates with me. She too has prayed genuine prayers for them, but as time passed, the hurt grew so great that I believe she has closed off much of her heart and tenderness to protect herself. Praying she will grow in her faith and see again His hand in her life, and restore all that was lost through their hatred. Your ministry is powerful- bless you for reaching out to these precious girls who are a target for the enemy. Praying blessings for you and all God calls you to.

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    1. Wow you made my day– and believe me I have been where your daughter has been. I was bullied for years and some of the words they told me back then still hurt today. It came at such a sensitive age. I will be praying your daughter leans on the Lord for comfort and never believes those lies. The Lord will use her and her testimony to further His kingdom I will be praying she realizes that! God bless you as a mother seeking to build a woman of faith I can learn from you (even though that won’t be anytime soon hehe )

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So very mature. I love every word of this! I am almost 40 and know there are women that don’t like me. And that’s ok. But it hurts! These words have been an encouragement to me!!!

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  4. You’re right about it not getting better as you get older. Mom’s do it too, and it’s worse because that sometimes involves your kids. Thankfully, you already know that Jesus is the answer to this very thing. He is gracious and merciful to us, even in this! I wish I would have learned that (God gave me this personality, not excusing my areas of sin) much younger (like you), but I’m glad I learned it 🙂

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  5. So beautiful, I battled depression and when I found out I was pregnant as a sophomore, I got called every name there is and you know? I wasn’t any of those things.. I wasn’t a failure, or a whore. I was with one boy, and he is the love of my life we are getting married sometime soon we have been together 2 years. And I’m not a failure I’m a mother, Jesus and my child saved me I will raise my child in church and he will always respect others if I ever find out he bullies I will talk to him about it and he will apologize to the person in front of everyone. I truly believe Jesus gave me my son to help me and guide me to him and that’s what he’s doing every time I look in his eyes I thank God for my son.

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    1. Wow that was beautiful– so much wisdom! I love your story, it is such a testament to the Lord’s faithfulness through it all. God bless! And I will be praying for you and your son as he grows up and I pray He may know the Lord like you 🙂

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  6. It really pains me so to see someone so young believe that God and religion are the only thing to life. It’s sad to say it, but maybe thats the reason these girls don’t like you is because of your piousness. I was raised Mormon myself and I realized that there is more to life than Jesus Jesus Jesus. If there were a God he would want so much more for you than this. Through prayer and scripture study I found that there is no actual proof of God. He does not exist. I know this as sure as gravity is a scientific fact. I really come from a place of love when I tell you that you could accomplish so much more if you spent nearly as much energy harping about a false thing and actually aplied it towards something much more meaningful and constructive. I wish all the best for you, But i hope all the best for you and I wish you could accept this information with an open minded heart, I wish you know ill will but want you to know the absolute truth. Please, Be well.

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    1. I appreciate you saying this in a respectful and nice way! For me, I personally have a relationship with Christ. I’ve seen Him work every day, and I can say that I believe in Him. I’m sorry you feel different and wish you could see the potential each of us has once we give up our life for the One who gave up His. I hope you have a great day!!

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    2. John,
      Despite agreeing with you fully on a religious stance, this is a very backhanded comment that is only disregarded due to the kind-hearted nature of the one receiving it. Despite your genuine care, love, and well wishes for Grace, your comment is blatantly disregarding the eons of positivity her beliefs bring to her life. You are suggesting that it is her kind nature that brought about her own torment- that the victim is at fault. Yet I think most of us agree that one’s petty actions do not justify further negative action in retaliation. By this comment, you give permission to the young, impressionable readers Grace addresses, who search for a justified reason to hate. You validate those who have hurt her. Your stance as someone who is clearly educated and experienced in life gives your words further weight. And while you have expressed a genuine concern, you have also used this genuine concern to double-back and repeat the very actions this article denounces. To plainly call Grace pious in a negative connotation is to make vast assumptions of her character that you have no tangible grounds to make. All that you know is what you read of her. Further, Grace’s article is highly important, extremely meaningful and useful. If it is not useful to you, then you need not apply it. However, Grace’s energies here are helping countless girls process a difficult topic, relate to someone in their position, and demonstrate an eloquent, conflict-free way of managing this kind of issue. Her energies here are likely very relevant in other ways. She is clearly developing her writing skills and style, her communication skills as a whole, and her knowledge surrounding one’s internet identity. She is also forming bonds and relationships with like-minded people in a very passive way, which I say to mean, “it doesn’t hurt anybody.” The ability to network oneself in our world’s current economy is so valuable that it is the only reason some professionals jumpstart their careers and become successful.
      So while you know that Grace is kind and forgiving of the injustices placed upon her, you are not doing your belief set any better. This is not kind, to blame her religion for her hardship, even if she or others believe it is “part of the package” to face hardship and ridicule from non-Christians. It is not kind to suggest her efforts fall short when they are exactly what someone of her lifestyle might aspire toward, or really need to hear. It is not kind to shut down the ideas of a young, maturing adult still forming her worldview. It is not kind to suggest that she is in the wrong because you believe something different, nor is it kind to suggest your views are correct and therefore your efforts are more valid. So while you may truly wish Grace the best at heart, you have directly attempted to shut her internal world structure down by taking her message so personally that you felt the need to condemn it in a public place where it could very well cause shame. Full circle, you’re bullying a young woman about her self-confidence in the face of bullying. That’s kind of sick and unnecessary. As a complete non-Christian, I took this message to heart also. For me, it means that I need not attend to what others think of me if it does not being good to my life, and that in the end, we are all women looking for acceptance and support in one another.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. John Smith, your words are of a mysogynist. I do not believe you are “pained” by this girl’s blog, comments, or beliefs. I do believe, however, you are a troll. You spent more time trying to convince her her beliefs are untrue.
      Your posted name is laughable. What would be your suggestions of “meaningful and constructive”? Follow your own words. “Scientific fact”, my foot. I noticed you had no facts, because you are a miscreant.
      Jesus was loving and kind. He was no pushover, either.
      Your comments , you claim, are under the guise of love. There is nothing loving about your post.
      All I saw was false superiority and hate. Go away.

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  7. Hey Grace,
    I gave up social media for Lent this year, so I am not Facebook to see when you share your articles, but I knew you had your blog and figured this is the best way to talk to you!

    Even though we haven’t met. And the only reason we are friends on Facebook is because I Facebooked you about one of your Odyssey articles and coincidentally we are both from New Orleans and Pi Phi. However, it has been such a blessing to see your articles and your blog. God has definitely blessed you with your writing gifts and your gift to be confident enough to share with others. I hope you continue this for as long as you can! Hopefully, one day we can meet!

    Thank you for writing about God and teenage years especially when some people bring you down. It is truly incredible and awe-inspiring

    PPLAM,

    Julia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awh Julia you are so sweet and kind to give me this encouragement! I’m so proud you gave up social media for lent that is awesome and want an amazing testament to your ability to put God first. I am thankful for you reading and believing in what I write. Hopefully one day we can meet that sounds wonderful 🙂 God bless

      PPLAM

      Liked by 1 person

  8. This is what I needed to read this early am. The article has helped me tremendously but, has shown me that there are other women who struggle with other women /girls hating them. I’m pretty sure I’ve never done anything to the women at church who simply ignore me. I’ve said “Hello” to them, smiled at them only for them to act as though I don’t exist. Church is the last place I would expect women to be mean to other women after all we are all the to worship and give praise to Our Lord, God and Savior aren’t we? Just the other day I told my husband I felt more comfortable at work where there are many non believers than at church.

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    1. Isn’t it funny how the people who talk most about Jesus sometimes need Him the most?? I am proud of you Jean for knowing what it means to live the Christian life, be nice, and forgive. We need more women like you in church to show others what it should look like. God bless new friend 🙂

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  9. Dear grace, thank you sending out into our world this truthful and insightful words. Have found that these words of truth applies at any and all ages. Have seen this at all stages of life. So sad it presents itself even to the elderly. How all ages, except the very young, alienate the older person. Want even speak in passing. Ignore as if they aren’t there. The list is endless. They seem to love GOD the most, and show it, forgetting… “Where you are, I to have been. Where I am, you to shall be. AND. There is not a thing you can do about it.”

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  10. That was very well put. Thank you! I needed these words today. Just a reminder that I never need to stop believing in myself, because I am worthy no matter what others may think. You are precious.

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  11. So inspiring! I absolutely love reading all that you write! God plays a huge role in my life as well, and it amazes to see how you write about him in all your blogs! Have a wonderful day Grace!

    Like

  12. Such an inspiration! I love reading all that you write! God plays a huge role in my life as well, and it amazes to see how you splash a little bit of your love for him in your writing! Have a wonderful day! God bless!

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      1. hi my name is stacie alot of people dont like me cause i am really lound and annoying and i get really hurt inside when they say mean things to me i live in a childrens home and people judge me but i am so happy all the time but never show how i really feel can you help me i fail alot and never can really pick my self up i always think is there somthing wrong with me why did God pick me to go through the stuff i went through i am really fustrated

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      2. Stacie, God knows you are strong and will not give you more than you can handle. All your struggles will one day be your testimony. I was unliked growing up for being loud but NEVER stop being you ❤ I pray for your trials and that you go to God like he is a friend. You are loved and cared for!

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  13. Thank you!
    MANY confident, emotionally-healthy, kind-hearted, respectful, and affirming little girls NEED to read this (every week for the rest of their lives). Unfortunately, it happens in Corporate America, too. At one company, there were 2 insecure, mean-spirited, and threatened “bullies” who made it their aim to make my life miserable. After being so gracious, affirming, and sincerely interested in them, they mistreated me in indescribable ways (over 8 years). I should’ve gone to our HR department, but because I’m a positive and authentically-caring person, I didn’t. These two 50-ish year old women got away with the “bullying”. Instead, in my heart, I chose to forgive them, release them, and bless them. I took the high road and I’m at peace inside. With that said, I will NEVER tolerate such behavior again. If it were to happen again, I’d nip it in the bud and courageously stand up to them.
    With the other girls / women that you might not “click with” … choose to just be BE KIND, anyway … and be SINCERELY INTERESTED in them … and APPLAUD AND SUPPORT them. That is what “taking the high road” looks like. Be the better and bigger person to just DO the right thing. When you do that, I can assure you … “your feelings will (eventually) follow your chosen actions”.

    XOXOX
    Dorease

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  14. I would like to share with you just how powerful this article was to me when I read it. I have been working with a lady who for unknown reasons seems to absolutely hate me. No, I am not a teenager or even a young adult. I am a grown woman who realizes like you said mean people are everywhere. Anyway, the work place is very hostile at times because of this lady. Today, she was very snappy with me for no reason. When I went to lunch, I said my blessing and then also asked God to help me understand why she is like she is with me. I prayed for Him to touch her heart, and to help her see me as others do. I kind hearted individual who does what I do because I truly care about others. Within few seconds, I clicked over to facebook and saw your article that a friend of mine had shared. I felt as though God had just answered my prayer. I literally had goose bumps all over me. Without a doubt, God was answering my prayer. I had just prayed for her and said some of the very things that you had written in the letter. Every word that you wrote is exactly how I feel, and I wanted you to know just how much it touched me. Thanks for writing it. I would love to give it to her for her to read. I really do think it would help the situation.

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    1. I love that this was speaking truth to you!! As I type this I pray for this relationship in your life, and that she may come to know Jesus. You are so wise new friend.You are doing great things, keep shining ❤

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