During Christmas break I ran into an old family friend. Just like many of my encounters are when I come home, I was asked if I found a “special someone”.
“Grace, how are those boys? You find someone yet?”
I laughed it off and looked at her smiling “no… not yet!”
The family friend then began to almost feel bad for me. “Oh don’t worry darling you will find someone! I don’t get why a girl like you is still single…”
Still single. Thanks for reminding me that I am still single.
The society we live in treats being single as if it is some horrific disease that can only be cured by getting in a relationship. If someone says they are single we immediately think they need a pat on the back and a “it is okay” reminder.
So many girls think their single season in life is supposed to be where they search for a relationship. So many girls settle on a mediocre guy because they would rather be in a okay relationship than be single. So many girls treat singleness as a disease they would not want to get infected by.
The truth is your singleness isn’t supposed to be about searching for a guy. You aren’t supposed to waste your single years away on scouting the next prospect. Your single years are God’s way of saying “patience my child, I have something better, focus on me right now”. See God can use your single years as a way where HE pursues you, He romantically falls in love with you, and you grow into the disciple, friend, and future spouse that you were meant to be.
We watch the Bachelor religiously, hoping our favorite contestant gets the rose. If she doesn’t get the rose we are sad and think “poor girl”. Instead, maybe we should respect that “God just has better plans”.
Being single isn’t a disease, and being broken up with doesn’t mean you are broken. God just has something better in mind.
We friend-zone God daily. Remember when Lizzie McGuire was obsessed with Ethan and we were so mad because there Gordo was– the sweet, patient, loving friend, being continually friend-zoned by Lizzie. Can we stop treating God like Gordo?? Can we stop placing God in the friend-zone? We want God in our life, but want someone else in our life more. We would rather the cute boy on the football team, or the hot fraternity guy. We would rather someone fleeting than to be in love with the One who was repeatedly bullied, beaten and killed for our sins on a cross 2 thousand years ago.
See yes, Nicholas Sparks can write awesome love stories. However, I know a guy who can write better ones. I know a guy who wrote one about someone who was way out of our league, (this guy was literally PERFECT and FLAWLESS), desiring to leave the friend-zone with us and become the One we walk with daily. He desires to take us on adventures and remind us how beautiful we are. He desires to make us belly-laugh, challenge us, and be our teacher and counselor. He is the One who conquered death that sunny day 2 thousand years ago.
So yes, I am still single. But there is nothing wrong with me. God has given me this season for a reason, and I will respect this chapter in my life. I am using this season to take God out of the friend-zone. I am using this season to let Christ pursue me, and to let myself pursue Him back. Singleness is not a disease; it is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to grow and fall in love with the One who created love. It is opportunity to lose ourselves and find our identity in Christ. It is an opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus, praising Him, and one day you will meet someone who will sit beside you at the feet of the Lord–and that is how you find love.
Here’s to another Valentine’s Day single– but I’m not complaining this year. I am growing and learning more about the Lord. I am learning from the Creator of love what love looks like. I am trusting the Creator of chocolate, kittens, and romance to write my love story- and that gives me peace.
If my future husband is reading this, focus on the Lord and school. One day, we will meet in the Lord’s time and I can’t wait to walk with the Lord with you.
Romans 8:28 “And we know that God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.”