I started high school as the weird, nerdy girl. I had few friends who actually cared for me, and found myself praying to God to make me popular. I didn’t really even know God at the time. I only talked to Him when I wanted something. I always thought that if I was more popular I wouldn’t be lonely and I would finally be happy.

I finished high school as Class President, Miss Fontainebleau High, and having been on both Prom Court and Homecoming Court. I was nominated for three other superlatives, and was someone everyone knew. I finally became “popular”. But despite what the rest of the student body thought, I was even more insecure and lonely than the freshman girl who sat in class praying someone cool would simply notice her. I struggled with body image issues, feeling alone, feeling secretly unwanted, and thinking I had no one to talk to.

I thought in college I would finally be secure in friendships. I went out-of-state, started a new chapter in my story, and joined a sorority. However, even when I hit 300 likes on my Instagram picture, I still felt like I didn’t even know one person who truly liked me and cared for me. I had 2000 friends on Facebook yet felt as if not one of them actually knew me.

The other day a girl who I knew told me she struggled with loneliness. The ironic part is I thought this girl was so happy and had so many friends. I was shocked to hear that she also felt lonely. I started to realize that maybe more people than I think struggle with loneliness.

Our society tells us that we are in the “best years of our life”. We go into high school, college, and young adulthood with expectations of how it will all pan out. Yet, we end up disappointed because we continually compare our lives to others and forget about the Big Man upstairs.

Newsflash: Everyone feels lonely from time to time. Everyone has felt disappointed. Everyone has struggled with feeling unhappy. Kendall Jenner I bet even struggles with feeling lonely. Yes, she has 48.4 million followers on Instagram but I bet there are days when even she feels like she has no one to talk to.

I remember in middle school when some of the “cool” people would be absent and there was always that one annoying girl who would say “WHERE IS EVERYONE TODAY?” I would always laugh in my head and be like “well…I’m here…k. thx.”

I feel like every time we complain about being lonely God says to us, “well do you not see me child? I am here for you.” Every time we complain about having “no one to talk to”, God just sits up in the clouds and shakes His head.

He is present. He cares. He wants to be your friend. 

 

I get it. God can’t eat fast food with you at 2 a.m. God can’t go workout with you. God can’t drive around with you in the car blaring old T-Pain songs. God can’t be your bridesmaid or groomsman.

However, God can do so much more. The One who can move mountains wants to call you friend. The One who hung the stars desires a relationship with you. The One who created ice cream, sunsets, and Taylor Swift wants to do life with us– and that is a beautiful gift.

Cliche…yes. But it is true.

Talk to God like a friend. Be honest and real with Him.

Sometimes our best friends just take time. Some people meet their best friends in high school, some college. Some even meet their best friends when they are volunteering on their fourth child’s field trip. Trust his timing for when he will place the people you will call your best friends. But never forget that God can be your best friend if you allow yourself to do life with Him daily. Communicate with Him. Hangout with Him.

So if you feel lonely I challenge you to look at the stars. Remember that the One who hung the stars above you placed you where you are in this Earth for a reason. He created you for a purpose greater than getting 1000 followers on Instagram. He created you to be in friendship with Him and find joy in the true friendships He gives you. And when you feel like no one is listening and life knocks you down, never forget you are in a perfect position to pray.

 

MSG Version — Matthew 6:30-34 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

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Also I will be starting an ASK GRACE series. Feel free to e-mail me at grace@gracevalentine.org any questions or topics you want answered on the blog. God bless friends and never forget that in Christ, we are enough.

Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.

11 comments

  1. I first ran across your blog about a week ago when someone had shared the “51 Things I Wish I’d Known in High School” on Facebook. I thought, oh wow she’s so right… 😊 So I subscribed to your blog. Since then, I have went back and read your past posts and I have laughed and I have cried. I have sat with my 12yr old daughter and read a few also. Thank you for posting these and continuing to post. Please know your words have been a true blessing to me. God Bless You.

    1. Michelle!! Wow this was so sweet, I am so glad you have loved the journey of my blog and even get to share this with your daughter and use it as a conversational starter! God bless you and your family and I’m so honored you subscribed <3 Praying for your walk with the Lord and you and your daughter grow in the friendship with Him each day

  2. A friend of mine shared one of your posts on Facebook a few weeks ago and ever since then I have been reading your posts (: I also have a group of girls that meet after church every Sunday for lunch and the past few weeks we have been reading these. As teenage girls it is a blessing to know that others struggle with the same things and to have someone that can put our feelings into words is something truly amazing. So thank you for writing these pleasant blog posts.

    1. Wow that brings me such joy! I am glad you have a group of friends that encourage you and lift you up–what a beautiful image of the gospel! God bless Cassie and I pray you continue to grow in your friendship with Christ!

  3. Thank you so much for this! I’ve been struggling with the whole “friendship” thing. I’m an introvert, so I like people to invite me places and not just show up. So I always feel left out. Love this!

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