I pray if I have a daughter, she never sits in the bathroom wasting her tears because a low-life jerk of a boy broke her heart, and she can’t stop wondering “what did I do wrong”…
However, I’ve learned so many girls at one point in their life end up locking that bathroom door, only to let tears fall for a boy who doesn’t even deserve a second glance.
I remember one spring break in high school when I cried in the bathroom over a boy who didn’t treat me the way I deserved to be treated. What I would do to tell the girl looking in the mirror that night that he wasn’t worth ruining your mascara for. He wasn’t worth my tears, and he defiantly wasn’t worth the heartache. However, maybe the reason I settled for him and other disrespectful, but charming boys, is because I never knew my own worth.
I was insecure. I was vulnerable at the time. And because I forgot that I was handcrafted by the One who painted the sea, I was able to think that a boy who could lift determined my worth.
I see so many girls settling for boys who don’t treat them the way they deserve. There are so many girls wasting tears on boys who don’t deserve their time. Girls are settling for guys who may be cuter, but don’t respect them. Guys who pressure them to go farther than they want. They make excuses for these boys who break their heart. Girls say sorry for their feelings over and over again, while these boys never even apologize for hurting the girls. Girls blame themselves for their boyfriend cheating, not communicating, and not respecting them. Girls seemed to have forgotten that the One who created queso, Taylor Swift, and puppies created them–and because of that, and that alone, they are worthy.
Our generation thinks a text “goodnight babe” is #relationshipgoals. Our generation thinks if he posts a picture of his girl on Wednesday as a woman crush, then he knows how to treat a lady. We think Nicholas Sparks created the ultimate love stories, forgetting that the real romantic was the guy who wrote the reality of a perfect man being hung and stabbed for your forgiveness on a cross 2 thousand years ago.
You are worth a lifetime of adventure and love. You deserve someone who will encourage you in more ways than a “goodnight babe” text. You deserve someone who will make you belly-laugh, dance with no music, and wake up every day praising God that he made Adam and not just Eve. You deserve someone who when you look at them, you see joy, love and leadership. You deserve someone who challenges you to grow as a friend, disciple, and partner. You deserve a guy who sees you chasing the Lord, and doesn’t stop you, he runs alongside you, running after Christ together.
You are beautiful, worthy, and loved. You deserve to be treated that way.
I’m not saying all boys are low-life jerks, and I’m not saying it is never the girl’s fault. Plenty of girls do the same thing to boys, they break their hearts, they lead them on, and they do not reflect the love of Christ in their relationship. I’ve just seen way too many girls crying to Taylor Swift breakup songs. I’ve just seen way too many insecure girls who think a boy determines their worth. I just felt I needed to speak on this.
Stop settling because you want to feel wanted, because you get more likes on your Instagram pictures if there’s a boy in the photo, and because he’s hot. Stop settling because you are blinded by his charm and blue eyes. You deserve someone who loves Jesus more than you and does his best to wake up everyday and live by the fruits of the spirit.
And friends, be patient. A guy like this may take years to find. But I promise he is out there. Never settle because while you are too busy settling for someone who hurts you, you could be growing into the woman of God your future husband has been praying for.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! –Galatians 5:22-23