I remember the first time I publicly told someone “I was waiting.” All the girls in my grade were settling for guys in high school who were good… but not great. They believed in God but didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. They liked being liked and feeling wanted, but didn’t always like the way they were treated by these guys. They settled. They didn’t wait.
When I said I was waiting, a guy told me “good luck ever finding a guy patient enough or who fits what you even want.” He is right, I need luck. There aren’t many guys out there patient enough or who fit the characteristics of a man of God. But that is okay. I am going to wait for him.
There are two things I have personally chosen to wait for:
1. A man of God
2. Sex for marriage
Before you exit out this article thinking I’m just another prude classic Christian girl who acts better than everyone else and judges people who live a different life than me, I want to say I pray every day that I am not THAT girl. All sin is equal. Because I sin differently from other people doesn’t make me better or worse. I just want to share with you why personally I am waiting for a man of God and also sex for marriage in hopes that young girls in similar positions know that there are other girls out there waiting as well.
I am waiting for a man of God, who is a living example of Christ’s unconditional love. I want someone who simply by their presence helps me feel the Lord actively a part of my life.
Our generation has become too obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend instead of waiting for one who actually is the man we deserve. It is important to never settle. Stop stressing about having a serious boyfriend by 21 and start focusing on waiting for a guy who pursues that Lord and you in a beautiful way that makes you more joyful each morning.
To find the kind of characteristics of a man like this remember this verse:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I desire a man who seeks Christ every morning and loves God more than He loves me. I will not settle for some “okay” guy due to me being scared my standards will not be met. I have found that many girls just love feeling wanted, but not necessarily loved. I want a man who I can confidently replace his name into “love is” part of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If his name doesn’t fit the verse, he is not love. I also pray I can be the God-fearing and loving woman that he would want to be with as well.
I am waiting to have sex for marriage.
I have found, this one is a little more uncommon for most college students. I want to first make it clear I am not judging those who haven’t waited or are choosing not to wait, this is simply a statement of my own faith and why I personally am choosing to wait.
Both marriage and sex were created by God. My husband, the man of God I will end up with, deserves me to give up everything to follow both Christ and him. The world tells us our sex life should be active and the more experienced you are, the more like the rest of the world you are. The world tells us that more guys will like us if we “know what we are doing.” The world tells us that the cute guy will stay with us if we give every part of ourselves to him, including sex.
I am waiting for my husband because I believe he is the only person God is giving me permission to expose myself in such a way too. I am not waiting because I am prude, think boys are icky, etc. I am waiting because God is telling me to and because I trust His advice. I am waiting because I love my husband too much to give what he deserves to another guy, even though I probably haven’t even met my husband yet. I am waiting because I love myself and respect myself more than to give my heart to a guy who hasn’t fully given me a promise for a lifetime.
This is how I feel personally, and I hope that by sharing my perspective, other girls will know that they are not alone in theirs. You can be in the world but not a part of the world. It doesn’t matter if you are already not waiting for a man of God. God makes us holy in His sight again and has given you a second (or third or fourth or hundredth) chance by sending his Son.
At the end of the day, always remember that God loves you more than any guy can.
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