I remember the first time I publicly told someone “I was waiting.” All the girls in my grade were settling for guys in high school who were good… but not great. They believed in God but didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. They liked being liked and feeling wanted, but didn’t always like the way they were treated by these guys. They settled. They didn’t wait.

When I said I was waiting, a guy told me “good luck ever finding a guy patient enough or who fits what you even want.” He is right, I need luck. There aren’t many guys out there patient enough or who fit the characteristics of a man of God. But that is okay. I am going to wait for him.

There are two things I have personally chosen to wait for:

1. A man of God

2. Sex for marriage

Before you exit out this article thinking I’m just another prude classic Christian girl who acts better than everyone else and judges people who live a different life than me, I want to say I pray every day that I am not THAT girl. All sin is equal. Because I sin differently from other people doesn’t make me better or worse. I just want to share with you why personally I am waiting for a man of God and also sex for marriage in hopes that young girls in similar positions know that there are other girls out there waiting as well.

I am waiting for a man of God, who is a living example of Christ’s unconditional love. I want someone who simply by their presence helps me feel the Lord actively a part of my life.

Our generation has become too obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend instead of waiting for one who actually is the man we deserve. It is important to never settle. Stop stressing about having a serious boyfriend by 21 and start focusing on waiting for a guy who pursues that Lord and you in a beautiful way that makes you more joyful each morning.

To find the kind of characteristics of a man like this remember this verse:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I desire a man who seeks Christ every morning and loves God more than He loves me. I will not settle for some “okay” guy due to me being scared my standards will not be met. I have found that many girls just love feeling wanted, but not necessarily loved. I want a man who I can confidently replace his name into “love is” part of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If his name doesn’t fit the verse, he is not love. I also pray I can be the God-fearing and loving woman that he would want to be with as well.

I am waiting to have sex for marriage.

I have found, this one is a little more uncommon for most college students. I want to first make it clear I am not judging those who haven’t waited or are choosing not to wait, this is simply a statement of my own faith and why I personally am choosing to wait.

Both marriage and sex were created by God. My husband, the man of God I will end up with, deserves me to give up everything to follow both Christ and him. The world tells us our sex life should be active and the more experienced you are, the more like the rest of the world you are. The world tells us that more guys will like us if we “know what we are doing.” The world tells us that the cute guy will stay with us if we give every part of ourselves to him, including sex.

I am waiting for my husband because I believe he is the only person God is giving me permission to expose myself in such a way too. I am not waiting because I am prude, think boys are icky, etc. I am waiting because God is telling me to and because I trust His advice. I am waiting because I love my husband too much to give what he deserves to another guy, even though I probably haven’t even met my husband yet. I am waiting because I love myself and respect myself more than to give my heart to a guy who hasn’t fully given me a promise for a lifetime.

This is how I feel personally, and I hope that by sharing my perspective, other girls will know that they are not alone in theirs. You can be in the world but not a part of the world. It doesn’t matter if you are already not waiting for a man of God. God makes us holy in His sight again and has given you a second (or third or fourth or hundredth) chance by sending his Son.

At the end of the day, always remember that God loves you more than any guy can.


Originally posted on:


Written by Grace Valentine

I love Jesus, diet coke and sunflowers. I wish I lived in the mountains, but love the two states I call home--Louisiana and Texas. I can watch Criminal Minds all day and dream of one day owning an ice cream truck for fun. However, my main goal in life is that more girls will realize the worth they have through Christ Jesus--and with Him and Him only we are enough.


  1. 😭😭😭😭❤️Please keep sharing what God has placed on your heart! Such a blessing to read for a 20 year woman whom God has been telling to wait upon Him. Thank you sister! Amen❤️💓

    1. Thank you for your encouragement and believing what I believe! It is always wonderful to hear that there are others out there seeking Christ! Hopefully you will keep reading 🙂 God bless

  2. This article articulates something which I’ve been struggling to explain to people my entire life – so for that I thank you! I’m in my early 20s and waiting for a husband who I know God has planned is the right person for me, and I also have chosen to wait… but I have spent hours justifying why to people who just don’t understand. Bless your words, and continue to be a blessing x

    1. I am so proud of you my sister! I am in the same boat and every day praying for the man the Lord is preparing for me. It is not easy, but it will be worth it for both of us. I will be praying for the man the Lord is preparing for you, and your patience during this season– and I pray you can help me and pray for mine. God bless!

  3. I cannot believe you are only 19! So beautiful to hear such mature words and I trust God will continue to guide, bless and keep you. Life is hard, no doubt, and I know how hard college can be, so I hope God continues to give you the strength you need to keep going and living your life like this as it is truly inspirational. I have no doubt your words will have a profound effect on many. Keep up the good work sister!

    1. You are so encouraging and speaking such truth! I needed that reminder. I pray for you as well and that you have the strength to continue to encourage others so well! You seem like a wonderful woman of faith and I pray the Lord blesses you! You are loved!

  4. Waiting for marriage for BOTH of these things is 1,000 percent worth it!! I got married at 27 and waited until my wedding night to have sex with my husband. I can’t tell you how much stronger our marriage is because of that decision. Society and even sometimes friends and family will challenge you on this. But the fact that almost all of my friends have told me they wish they had waited says a lot! Your article put into words how I felt about this subject! Well done!

    1. Elizabeth thanks for sharing your wisdom. I love hearing from women like you who have successful completed that vow. I pray for your marriage and that you find Christ daily in your spouse. God bless and thanks for the kind words!

  5. Thank you for writing this beautiful post. I had to share it on Facebook! My husband and I both waited for each other, and after 8.5 years of marriage we still talk about how precious it was to give each other the gift of purity on our wedding day. Waiting was an essential part of the foundation of our marriage. Keep waiting! Those who aren’t supportive or don’t understand now will see the evidence later that waiting is worth it!

  6. Thank you for writing this! I am 20 and struggle every day with wanting to be like the world but at the same time wanting to live out my life as a true follower of Christ. Although at times I feel like an outsider because of it, I too am choosing to wait for the same reasons. God has perfect timing and a perfect plan for all of us. Please keep writing and encouraging, because there are more girls out there than you realize who feel the same way!

    1. I am so glad you enjoyed this and found peace in this article! I totally understand how hard it is to be in college and desiring to wait, yet feel as if you are the only one. I pray you stay persistent and never settle. You seem like a wonderful woman of faith Kate, and I know God has someone great planned for you. God bless!

  7. Thank you for shaing! More young people need to hear your words of wisdom about waiting. So many times I felt so alone in choosing to wait. You offer so much encouragement for others by sharing. It is well worth the wait for God’ s special chosen husband for you. I chose to wait and I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has always respected me. We will have been married for 25 years this June. Thank you for sharing and may God bless you for your very wise choices!

  8. Thank you for writing and sharing this, Grace! As a 19-year-old college male who is waiting for a woman of God and has also decided to save sex for marriage, it’s inspiring and encouraging to see other young people commit to the Lord and trust His advice. Please, keep writing and sharing what the Lord puts in your heart! Your wisdom is beautiful, and our Heavenly Father is very pleased with what you are doing. May He continue to bless you!

    1. Awh Miquel I am so glad you found truth and encouragement. It seems like there is no one else out there in our generation waiting but seeing your comment reminded me that there are so many people out there, and I pray you remember that to. God bless!

  9. There are so many people out there, indeed, Grace! I, too, pray they remember that, too! God has perfect timing and a perfect plan for all of us. God bless!

  10. Is this satire? You need to grow up and realize that being a “man of God” has nothing to do with being loving, honest, caring, giving, and all of the other traits that you desire in a partner. All it means is that the person you want to marry also believes in the same creation myth that you do. You’re being narrow-minded and limiting your options by imposing such a restriction on your future partner. Focus on finding someone who cares about you more than they care about some arbitrary unknown creator, then you will find true love.

  11. You are a wise woman, Grace Valentine! I’m so proud of you and proud to know you. The wait is SO worth it!! Thank you for speaking truth unashamedly! It’s powerful and more impactful than you’ll know.

  12. “I want someone who simply by their presence helps me feel the Lord actively a part of my life.”

    This is what I’m looking for, as well. Someone who loves their faith, so that we can together grow in our faith. I know it’s out there, I just haven’t found it yet.

    I think you’ll like this post of mine — it’s from a different perspective. Same commitment, different way of getting there: http://pathswewalk.com/2016/03/28/vows-failed-relationships-renewed-faith/

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